Tokamachi Fest Saturday, Golden Chaos

The saturday night of Tokamachi Festival is the climax, where the mikoshi (portable shrine) is carried all over town all day (Martin threw in a jaunt with it on his shoulders, props to him). This mikoshi is a portable shrine that is kept in the Suwa temple way above Tokamachi. It is pulled out once a year and carried about town where it is blessed randomly, and carried down each street by the residents of that district (mostly men but I saw a couple women going at it too).

It doesn't sound too exciting but when you see the effort and pain in their faces, you realize this thing is HEAVY. It weighs 750 KG which is something near 2000 pounds. The combination of them all being loaded drunk and careening this vehicle-sized garnished gold shrine completely out of control is just fully amusing.

It goes on and off all day, hitting the districts around downtown, until later that night when people gather around to watch the battle as some people are trying to push it up back into the shrine so they can put it down, and some people are pushing it back into the street so they can stay out and revel. We all dressed in our yukata and chased the shrine around all night, trying a new extreme sport: playing chicken with the dozens of nearly naked guys charging at you and screaming, trying to snap a photo before you get violently trampled.

Sweat is flying everywhere, bells are jingled, drums and flutes are rhythmically pounded and piped, people young and old are in drunken pain in a sort of unifying religious bodily sacrifice not unlike the pilgrimage in Chimayo on Good Friday...just without the Christ part. Their arms are opened and inhibitions are dropped and people approach you with more random kindness than usual. If you are a Tokamachi-jin, you are all part of this community experience, and they are thrilled that you are interested in what they also realize is a bit of a strange custom.

Once the shrine was pushed through the torii gate entering the walkway up to the shrine, it was attached to two long ropes which we all took hold of to help pull it up the steep winding path. People chanted in unison and onlookers shouted in support.

It got up to the top where it was placed in front of the shrined and blessed by the priestess (this is all a Shinto ritual, one of the few times in a religion I've seen where a woman seems to have a leading role). Everyone claps together and prays and it's placed in the shrine. Different priests and different people belonging to the shrine sit about and pray while the priestess reads from a scroll.

Then chaos breaks loose as the free blessed sake is handed out along with fruit and packets of blessed rice. You are to use this rice when you cook your own rice by throwing in a kernel or two. It will keep you healthy over time. A few refills of sake later, the ceremony ends and people start filing away past lit paper lanterns...

We stumbled through the streets until we found ourselves in a club event at Kumakichi where the traditional mountain town experience was balanced out with some tequila, a DJ, dancing and just being young till all hours of the night...

The mikoshi in it's mikoshi house, prayers and blessings by the priestess

Something of significance I'm sure...

Somehow cowboy hats got thrown into the mix

Barreling outta control

Martin partaking

In the daytime on Eki Dori

The crew

Playing picture-chicken

Close up, pain mixed with joy

Insanity

On the procession up to the temple

some of the group, me with my new blue yukata

The mikoshi back home in the shrine

Arrrh....

Tokamachi Fest '05 in Full Effect Yo, Represent

The three day mountain-town festival in Tokamachi has started. I love these festivals because they are unique to each town and Tokamachi's is so quaint yet out of control.

I danced Thursday night in the opening parade. It's a style of dancing called odoru, which just means traditional dance. Me, Martin, Lopaka, Russell and Amity joined in with a group from the community center who teaches a Japanese class. We all received matching Yukata (summer kimono) and kind-of learned the moves ahead of time. There was a slight rain as a typhoon is passing by, but just enough to keep us cool.

Each group in the festival has different matching kimonos, but they all do the same dance. Once it got going I got into the swing of it...not sure how to describe it other than being very Japanese. Slow motions and clapping, all as you walk slowly. Danced about an hour straight, up main street and back. People gawked and took photos but mostly appreciated that we tried...

Afterwards ended up in Airk with the girls and everyone was in their kimono. I love the summer festivals if not for everything else, at least the yukata. There is nothing that makes me feel more like I'm in Japan than just sitting around speaking to people wearing kimono.

A couple more days of fest-ing to come, lots of mikoshi (portable shrine) carrying, and I'm sure I'll have a beer or two once I'm off these damn meds...

Getting wrapped up!

Having a laugh with the old lady who wouldn't stop slapping my ass

Da Boyz

Amity and Lopaka

Our group doing Odoru

Doin' the humpty dumpty

A few of us in front of one of the travelling Enka entertainment stages. Enka is essentially the Japanese country-western music.

Yuko and Kaori

BLECH

I'm sick! Blah. Being sick in Japan is kinda strange. It essentially involves lots of phone calls from worried Japanese people, lots of Celsius to Fahrenheit fever conversions, lots of prescriptions, and lots of being homesick for American food. Gotta get healthy for the Tokamach festival this weekend though...I'm signed up to do traditional dancing with the boys in the parade.

Med Kit: my insane amount of medicine for a fever and a sore throat. Doctors here loooove them some pills.

Son of a %($&)~!

Was relaxing in bed when my apartment started shaking as it does sometimes in this country. Didn't give much thought to it until things started falling off my shelves and then I got worried.

Oh well, just another strong earthquake. Here's the link:
http://www.asahi.com/english/Herald-asahi/TKY200508220086.html

Chimayo...

I ran into this clip online on NPR (America's BBC radio). It's about my small hometown Chimayo and its old and current heroin problems. Check it out it's really interesting and you'll learn something crazy about the place I was born and raised, and it tells a bit about the nature of local drug problems and addictions. Our friend Linda Pedro is interviewed in it too.

Open the link and hit "listen".

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4804031

I'm a loser, baby

Last night my friend Ayumi told me how I am not like other Americans because when I am complimented, I deny the compliment and shake my head and say NO NO NO in the Japanese way, rather than elaborate or say GEE THANKS!

Lately I've been thinking about how I have been influenced here by the Japanese habit for complimenting others and modestly deprecating yourself. I've come to believe that I'm really good at the things I'm bad at, and really bad at things I am good at or used to be good at. Like, my Japanese...bad...but everyday I am told how incredible it is, to the point that I no longer feel I need to study it because I'm obviously near fluency. Also, I've come to be so modest about the strong points in my life or personality that my self-confidence has actually been lowered because I've forced myself to convey the image of an unskilled, unattractive, illiterate, uneducated and inexperienced imbecile.

So I'm trying to get into the habit of doing and practicing the things I was once good at, and being at least a little proud of the fact that I can do them and that I identify with them as something that defines me, and stop knocking myself down so much just because it fits into the local way of social self-presentation.

So, what's up Japan! I totally RULE.

Off to Sado tomorrow maybe. Anyone? Anyone?

Only officially met Kelly and Tom last night, but they should really win some kind of award for being impressively great...

random photo of the night

Troy and Kate...just met Troy and was impressed with his astoundingly solid personality, and though I've known Kate a long time we've never really hung out...she is also the coolest ever. I'm realizing I actually pretty much love everyone I've been surrounded by lately, old friends and new...

Realized that I never take pictures of people I hang out with on nights out...so I'm including a few here from the conference party last night. Martin, Hiten, me, Debs. The other 40 pictures are just ridiculously bad, bad photos. So this one made it...

quakey

Was in Niigata City for the conference, when Martin sent an email saying there he felt another distant quake...found out it hit off Sendai City in Miyagi-ken and was pretty big at 7.2. Was in Ryan's car at the time and was shaking from his speakers so I didn't feel it. Some people were hurt and there was some damage but nothing too bad. But my mom sent an email from Africa and thought it might be here in Niigata again so don't worry mom! I'm ok.

Got in touch with Take cuz that's where his family is from and I assumed he was home for obon. He's allright and his family too...

Obon

We are in the midst of the buddhist Obon festival, which is essentially the exact Japanese version of Mexico's Day of the Dead. I actually felt like I was in Mexico again...

It's the time when families get together and visit the graves and shrines of their ancestors, pray to them, give them offerings, and invite their souls back to this realm to visit them in their homes for a day or two. As expected, there is a lot of eating and drinking involved, and dancing too.

I spent the whole day and night with Yuko's family as they took me around to their family's homes and gravesites. Yuko had to work so it was just me, her father, mother and sister. We first went to her great grandparent's grave which was in a cemetary. It was in a serene forested corner of Kawanishi, surrounded by huge cedar trees buzzing with cicadas. As we entered the sacred pocket of stone pillars and shrines, we were enveloped with strong incense. Families gathered around and lit sticks of it, put their hands together to pray, and arranged some flowers. Some graves were still scattered in chaos from the earthquake, and some were completely renewed and put back together.

After that we went to an elderly woman's home (maybe a great aunt) where we prayed to the butsudan, the small shrine that families keep in their homes, in honor of loved ones that have passed away. There, we knelt, lit incense, prayed, and chimed a small bowl gong.

The rest of the afternoon was spent visiting countless homes throughout Kawanishi and Yoshida, being welcomed and treated to obon food and tea by more relatives. I became quieter as I ran out of Japanese and sort of just started observing the whole thing. Even though the focus of the holiday is on the dead, it is not a sorrowful or morbid thing, but a time to consider time passing in your own life and enjoy the presence of the ones you are with now.

After the family stuff, it had become dark and we moved on to the main buddhist temple in the center of town where our friend Hiro works as a priest. We went to the massive graveyard behind the temple. It was busy, smoky, and candlelit. There was a large gong chiming away. We found Yuko's father's parents grave and prayed there...they tried to repair some of the stone incense cages which had been shattered in the earthquake and huge chips of stone were gaping out of the side of the pillar after it had fallen. At the front of the temple, we made coin offerings and bathed ourself in smoke, and went inside. The inside of this temple is so ornate and garnished...it had been under repair because it got pretty smashed up in the quake, and they just finished renewing everything by obon. It was so beautiful inside. I couldn't really understand what everything was for but I did appreciate it. The family found a small golden plaque-like shrine with names on it, and we prayed there too. Outside, priests were singing and running about doing their blessings and prayers.

Returned to Sai's house and Yuko was there. We ate and drank and walked to a local cemetary with a paper lantern that is meant to guide the souls back to the home with you. There, adults left sweets on different graves and, much like Halloween, the children would run about collecting them and putting them in a bag. We prayed at each shrine that was lit by candles 'just in case', and their family's as well. Walked back home with the lantern, prayed again at the butsudan. Random people came in and out and were welcomed with food and bows.

It was the most Japanese I've felt since I've been here, in that I was welcomed with open arms in a family situation, asked to pray in the same way, and wasn't asked about what makes me different. I wasn't gawked at when I lit incense or isolated as an American. The focus was all on family and their ancestors, and enjoying life as time carries on.

Yuko's grandparent's gravesite. The ashes are kept inside.

Praying inside the temple, Yuko's sister Yoriko, her mother and father, Mr. and Mrs. Ota

The main temple in town abuzz with obon goers

Yuko and her father with the paper lantern meant to guide the souls of the dead back home to relax

Another shrine with offerings

Even the adults went crazy for the sweets...Yuko cashing in

The cutest girl of the night, mouth full of candy

A boy on a sweets spree

Yuko and Sai with her bounty for the day. Gives good Halloween memories, ne?

The butsudan shrine in the house. I visited some of these that were 250 years old. Sweets and fruits are offered and incense is lit...

Guantanamo Bay? How about Japanese Driving Center...

Drivers test today. How did I do? Please read on.

It was a long, difficult day at the Nagaoka licensing center, so this will be a long post worthy of a day at the DMV. 7 HOURS straight for about 9 minutes of testing. Blah...

To start, one thing that was revealed to me was the blatant discrimination towards foreigners throughout beaureucratic processes like these, and I know this sounds overdramatic, but it was one of the most segregated and gulag-like things I've been subjected to in a long time. Let me describe a bit of the day to you...

Started with leaving Tokamachi at 7:30 AM for the hour drive to the city. It was dark, and pouring rain, with the occasional lightning bolt for atmosphere. Got to the center, crossed many rows of frowny-face employees, and waited in line for a while to figure out what to do...turned out once we got to the front, we were turned away and told to wait in the corner because we were not Japanese. "Foreigners will go last after all Japanese are done" was the explanation, after being one of the first in line. So, after waiting for quite a while, we were put in our own special line and given our own special papers. There were five of us...Nate and I, plus a men's club hostess from the Phillipines and a couple ladies from somewhere else. After the Japanese all cleared out, we were shuffled into a barren white room with a grumpy man in a blue police suit. This is where we had to try to complete a 10 question written test in "English", with a guidebook fostering some of the worst Japanese-English translations I've seen in a while. Thank Buddha for those pictures.

"No pencil? You no bring pencil? HERE. Fill blanks. BLAH BLAH BLAH." Something like that came out of the proctor's mouth.

Finished the written test, which was ridiculous in how such completely easy questions were actually made difficult by the perfect vagueness abound in the translations. Had to wait another long while for the results, and when Blue Suit Man came back, he tossed the results into two piles and we had to make two little groups...sort of staring at each other not sure which was pass and which was fail. Not surprisingly, the two non-Philipino women who spoke neither Japanese or English failed the test, and me, Nate and the pseudo-hooker passed. We didn't mean to, but we laughed inside at their demise. Felt like Survivor. We all stared at each other suspiciously.

Next, pay some money to more frowny-face people, shuffle through some lines, sit in our little foreigner corner, and then wait for the driving test for a long, long time. Like 4 hours. Spent this time wandering the empty halls, eating rice, studying the course map and mentally preparing myself to operate the blinker and the steering wheel in harmonious synchronized perfection, and basically feeling the life slowly sucked out of me.

Finally the time came. A shout came from the distance: FOREIGNERS THIS WAY. Judgement Day had arrived. I heard ominous music in my head. We were led through a long, blank hallway to a small bright room at the end. The semi-prostitute had her head down. Nate was fidgeting nervously. The established prep routine in my mind was going haywire: 'OK, BLINKER, SHOULDER CHECK, PUMP BRAKE, LOOK LEFT...NO...RIGHT...REARVIEW, DON'T CROSS THE LINE! EJECT! MAYDAY!"

We were all placed in seats in the tiny room and told something in Japanese. Blue Suit Man left and we remained alone with our nerves. I felt we would never see another person again and we stared out the windows of our isolation booth.

This is the point at which I really expected to realize it was a trap, see the nerve gas chamber door slam shut and slowly feel my eyelids drooping.

But instead, more waiting. Then...the License God spoke. A loudspeaker called names and directed us down to the first floor where a car and a new, Apparently Mute Blue Suit Tester Man awaited us.

The Hostess went first. As we watched her run the track, she seemed OK, but we realized immediately that something had gone wrong when her rear tire went gazonkers over the edge during her tricky Z shape turns. Instant fail. To make things worse, she forgot the course and ended up going the complete wrong way. Before she left the car, Apparently Mute Blue Suit Tester Man finally spoke. "Fail. Wait at second floor."

Not a good example. Nate and I then made a brotherly pact that we wouldn't watch each other do our courses, so as not to add to the stress of the thing. I was next...I said a prayer and Nate put his head down, and I slowly walked towards the car. I checked for children and animals under each tire, and entered the car.

"Konnichiwa!" I said. No Longer Mute Blue Suit Tester Man: "grumble grumble. practice lap grumble". OK. Went through all the motions, engaged blinker #1, and off for my practice lap.

Somehow, they managed to install the world's most sensitive breaks on the test car. Good thing for the practice lap, cuz it took about a block to make it feel less like a rodeo.

Circled back, stopped, and the real test began. Did all the checks, buttons, twists, maneuvers and tweaks I could remember that I needed to do. I felt I was at one with the crew on the space shuttle as they, at that very moment, were checking their gauges and instruments during their fiery re-entry back to earth. "Houston, we have an all systems go!" Then, I started driving.

Everything seemed well. I was OWNING the course. I was twisting my head more than an owl at Wimbledon. CHECK CHECK CHECK! BLINKER TURN BRAKE! SLOW FAST SLOW! Momentarily lost track of my place on the course but divine intervention brought me back. The trickiest moment came at the Z turn where I had just witnessed my Philipino course-sister take one for the team. But I pulled through and didn't even knock over a pole.

Finished up strong, even though a couple blinkers came on a little late and some turns were taken at maybe 5 or 6 mph, perhaps a little too fast. Pulled up and Nate still had his head down. I looked across at No Longer Mute Blue Suit Tester Man, and awaited his final judgement. "Wait at second floor..."

HA HA HE DIDN'T SAY FAIL! I gave a thumbs up to Nate, warned him about the brakes, and headed up to pray for his safe return. However, a bit of doubt lingered...I hadn't really been told I passed. I suddenly felt that tester man was running to his phone to quickly call the police to come take me away and cast me into Bad Lego Course Driver prison...

Nate returned. All signs were positive though he looked like he had just gotten out of the electric chair. His eyes were wide, he had been sweating with nerves, and his hair was sticking up and frazzled.

More waiting. Another woman yelled "FOREIGNERS OVER HERE. WAIT." Hooker girl seemed upset and Nate and I were hopeful. Another Blue Suit Man came up the stairs. We stared at him as he paced across the bare room slowly, holding three sets of files. He pointed at me and Nate: "Gokaku!" he said. He looked at the girl: "Zannen" (too bad) he said. At this point I still didn't know what Gokaku meant. The guy from the Board of Education started to shake my hand. "Pass, Pass!"

Woo hoo! Nate and I shook hands and did lots of slapping and jumping. The bar girl stared at us scornfully. This ridiculous event was finally over. We prepped for pictures (Nate slicked back his test-hair, I tried to smile but wasn't allowed to) and we were handed our licenses an hour later.

SO, I am the eternal ruler of all ridiculous foreign driving tests, with a first-try pass.

Sort of supports my theory of the connection between spending money on the driving schools across the street from the test center. I swear old man Yoshioka must have phoned up his crony friend and said "big white boy, skinny white boy, did the classes, give them some love". And love was given. We survived, and will never go back...

THAT'S RIGHT...

Put your hands on the wheel...

Re-learning to drive...

Japan has a reputation for being one of the world's most difficult places to obtain a driver's license from the start. For the past 3 weeks, I have taken a series of inane, ridiculous and all-together logic-defying driving classes in preparation for my Japanese driver's license exam, which is tomorrow. You see, my international license has expired after my one year in Japan, and I now have to go through all the red tape and processes that an ordinary Japanese person does to obtain a license. So, starting at the oshiri-crack of dawn, I will get a ride to Nagaoka City (haven't been able to drive for over a week), stand in some lines, take a written test (apparently in English), wait around, stamp some things, and then take my driving test on a KB Toys Lego-style circular driving track, complete with other cars, motorcycles, busses and tractors. Foreigners who have taken the test have been known to be failed up to 10 successive times in a row, simply because the testers aren't looking for how well you drive, but for how well you've been able to learn their silly rules and motions and bumper-car like driving courses...which are all but useless and dangerous in real-life situations, like on a real street with actual cars.

Some examples of what I've learned with my $200 in driving class fees:

-Upon entering the car (after checking for children under your tires), you must immediately lock the door, put on your seatbelt, adjust your seat, adjust your mirror, check your sidemirrors and look straight, all in that order. Failure to do so docks major points.

-Start the car, put in park, hold handbrake while checking left mirror, check rearview, release brake, check right mirror, look over left and right shoulders after putting blinker on, and slowly accelerate. Failure to do all of these will also dock points.

This is all before the test even starts. Once on the track...

-you must memorize two course routes ahead of time
-you must stay exactly a foot or so away from the left stripe at all times, unless when turning right
-when using blinker, you must check rearview, start blinker, check sideview, look over shoulder, all while trying to drive straight
-your hands must always stay 10 and 2 on steering wheel, even when turning sharp corners, making you do a lot of hand-over-hand stuff
-turns must be taken at about 3 miles per hour, braking or accelerating during a turn will dock points
-running over the line on the side or overshooting a stop sign by even an inch is an instant fail
-forgetting to check left shoulder for bikes, or turning on a blinker 30 meters early, major points docked
-the entire test will be in Japanese

The whole time, my head and eyes have to be moving and looking for 'danger' in such an overcautious way that you'd think I have some sort of health disorder. Also, once I pass, I will be forced by law to place some huge, bright stickers on the front and rear of my car for one year, indicating that I'm a beginning driver and they'd better watch out for me and give me some extra 'training' room. I guess the whole I'VE BEEN DRIVING FOR 13 YEARS thing doesn't count here.

The whole system is ridiculous and originally I had the attitude that I could figure it out without lessons, until I slowly realized that because of the nature of this society and the hidden corruption and beaurocratic rigging, classes are essential because the driving schools actually seem to have a relationship to the driving test centers. So, paying your fees into their rigged little system will actually get you in and out faster than those who hadn't, and not just because you've learned the rules. I've heard stories of completely fluent foreigners who have been taught by friends or looked up the rules, and failed time after time until they took lessons and showed that they were pumping money into the driving test circle. When people fail even if things are done correctly, classes are recommended. After my last class yesterday, the teacher told me 'be sure you give the tester my name. You MUST say YOSHIOKA DRIVING SCHOOL'.

It's all just my own theory, but I do get the sense that I will pass on the first or second try even if I make a couple mistakes, just because I let go of my own notions and understood that buying into the scam will probably save me less stress in the long run. Because I must drive, and I must drive now. Rural Japan without a car is nothing but an apartment, a wait for a bus that never comes, a ride on a gramma bike, and lots of typhoon-drenched clothes...

...and don't forget that this is being written by the kid that payed off the Driver's Ed instructor in high school, using $50 and a trip to McDonalds to secure my Driver's Ed certificate without ever stepping foot in a driving school...aah, New Mexico...aah, Japan...

Now, I actually do have to do the right things tomorrow and make sure I don't drive off the course or floor it through a red light. Classes or no, I think they'll have SOME standards...

Last night had a great time with Yuko and her family. She invited me to her barbecue at my student Sai's house...Sai is Yuko's cousin. They have a family bbq once a year and I showed up after spending the day on the beach with Debs, Martin and Lopaka the new Hawaiian kid. In this picture is me, a student's mother, Yuko's cousins, father, sister, mother, grandfather, great uncle, neighbors, etc! That's Yuko to my right and her dog Gang kind of sitting on my head. It was tons of fun and great to be part of a normal Japanese family gathering. Was awesome to realize that people in Japan have weird, crazy families just like mine. Yuko was embarrassed of course, but I had to remind her that no matter who you are, everyone has a crazy family...

moving on into year 2

Throughout all the introspection I've been doing lately, I've been trying to reinvent my time in Japan a little more...I know I'll be here at least another year, and losing hope for having new exciting experiences just can't happen. I've realized I'm not applying myself enough to actually get what I want out of the experience, and seeing the attitudes of the new guys has really helped to get me going back on track.

I left school an hour early today because it was simply pointless to be there...on the way home I mustered up some courage and stopped in to visit Kazuo, the old guy who owns the local liquor shop and who is obsessed with American bluegrass music. I forgot how well I get along with him, and immediately I was invited to sit for tea and chill. Soon a ukalele (sp?) was brought out with his guitar and there was random music being made. I've now made a date for Thursday night, for a 'beer drink guitar time' party. He has a full tap of draft beer, not for customers, but just for himself and his visitors, sticking out the side of his desk. It's the most random little store, selling very few of very many things...from envelopes to soba noodles to cartoon porn and beer.

I've been trying to employ my RA duties...of which there are few...by getting in touch with all the new kids and checking on everyone. Too bad I can't reach any of them...

On Tuesday night I loaded the car with Martin, Keiko, Debs and new guy Russel, and we went to Nagaoka for one of the finest fireworks displays around. It was completely insane. It was nonstop for 2 hours of just really big, loud, colorful fireworks. Said goodbye to my Canadian buddy Rowan which was sad because I never saw enough of him, and got along with him well...he was a snowboarder and we had the same attitude about a lot of things. Plus I had to get my belt back from him...long story. Loser kept it for 7 months.

One Year In Japan...Report

Warning: Long, drab, diary-style introspective post to follow...

SO, August 1 marked my one year in Japan anniversary. Since just before Fuji Rock I've been thinking about it a lot and I've turned inwards about it all, and just been feeling mellow since Fuji Rock. I've been looking beyond Japan a lot lately and considering what I might do afterwards. I think a lot of it has to do with getting out of Tokamachi and being around thousands of different kinds of people, like Alice who was just passing through Japan but gave me a strong shot of perspective from the outside, plus listening to the best music in the world and feeling like there is obviously more stimulation out there than the routine I've established here in my mountain town. But I had a routine back home too, and I realize that everywhere you go you create a mundane daily lifestyle because it's stabilizing, and it gives you something to work against.

One year ago I uprooted and gave up my opera job, being near family, friends, Sarah, all that...to come over to Japan not having a clue what I was getting into. Sometimes I question the decision, but I always remember the agony I would be going through at home if I were constantly wondering what I would be doing, learning and seeing in Japan at the moment.

And what have I done, learned and seen so far? Well, looking back at the year, these words and impressions come to mind:

-Challenge. It has been outright challenging to be here. One can't help but have expectations anywhere you go, and when they aren't met, you are immediately put in a challenging situation as you realize you have to know yourself well enough to react in the right way. I am proud of the way I have reacted to the challenges I've had, it's mostly all been in a responsible and respectable way. I knew there would be challenges and the challenge is partially why I decided to come here.

-Luck. I've had stretches of really bad, difficult luck, and I've been blessed with great luck as well. The bad luck has all been relatively small though, and has always had a positive side: for instance, bad luck= massive earthquake, but I survived and luckily no friends were hurt. One example of pure good luck - I've been surrounded by good people who I love and respect in the highest degree.

-Culture: Being immersed in Japanese culture has been really interesting, my first stint in a real Eastern society, but what I've been thinking about is the difference between the tourist's view of the culture (more interest in the romantic part of the culture, the visual and ceremonial) and the temporary resident's view (more interest in the things that shape daily life, the social and the mundane). Japanese culture can only be experienced when you are faced with it everyday, and only then can you get a feeling for it, but not an understanding. So many Japanese people can't explain themselves and have no understanding of why things are the way they are...and I've had to slowly learn to let go of that Western idea of having a reason for everything. Japanese people's attitude towards the nature of their culture is much like a composer's attitude towards the nature of their music...it's that way because that's how it is and that's how it feels right, it would be wrong any other way.

-Experience: Someone said something recently that life is really just a string of different experiences, and I've realized that when I do look back at my life and look at it in awe, it's because I've been able to have such an incredible series of unique experiences, and the reason I came here is to add to that string. So, in essence this is an experience...perfect or imperfect, it's unique and when I look back, I will be in awe at what I've encountered. I've seen music festivals, I've eaten food that exists nowhere else, I've survived natural wrath, I've influenced young kids, I've reveled in drunken summer festival crowds, I've crossed innumerable cultural and language barriers, I've swam in the Sea of Japan, I've soaked Japanese style in scalding baths, I've skied in 5 feet of powder, I've been in a Philipino bar, and I've created an experience here that never existed before, from complete scratch.

-Perspective: Nothing like living in a place like this to give you perspective on where you come from, on who you are, on what's important.

Some of the new ALTs are just arriving, and although I'm feeling mundane and looking beyond Japan a little, having them here is very refreshing because they are excited about things I was excited about too, and still am, but that got overtaken by other concerns, so it's nice to get that simple energy back of just being so eager to do anything and everything. I think that will be helpful in keeping my focus here and now in having even more experiences instead of feeling like the most exciting part of the trip is finished.

My mom just arrived in Cape Town, South Africa for another volunteer stint, and I am happy she is there and safe. Everyone is healthy and good. Onwards to the summer...beer season! Let's celebrate!